When my anxiety was getting to a crippling point, I was searching for answers everywhere. And so many places I looked said, mediation. The problem was, who the hell has time to mediate, AND, when we try it doesn’t really help anyhow. Right?
The clock is showing 4:10am. It is time to get up and start another day. But, today, unlike yesterday, there is a ball…a knot really, of anxiousness mixed with dread in my stomach. It feels heavy. It is hard to breathe deeply. I feel afraid.
It’s hot. Like, not normal hot, but the kind of hot I’d imagine the first step into hell would be. Maybe the second step. Shit, how many steps to hell are there…? It is all of those steps. I am choking on sweat and the dust swirling around me.
Have you ever been in a weird mood? A bad one, sad one, a funk- and you are not even sure why? No energy, don’t wanna do jack and overall feel blah? If you have, I feel you completely- and I think most people do too (at least at some point in their life).
If you know me at all, even a little bit, you know that I USED to have an intense fear of flying. I mean intense. Like the kind of fear….(insert shame face here) where I would take prescribed medication, time it just so, drink a glass (or three) of wine, and pour myself into a seat on the plane.
There are plenty of articles and resources on what needs to happen in order to be happy & healthy. The hard part is figuring out what works for you (not everything works for everyone) and then sticking to the process.
As I was filming for my coaching program, I spent some time with my clients on being more present and what that means. Why is it even important? Being more present is something that I too struggle with. I am constantly planning.
I wasn’t going to tell anyone. But I have to get it out there! I WON THE LOTTO! I am not a big lotto player. As a matter of fact, the day I played, and won, was the first time I had ever played. Why wouldn’t I spend $10 for a chance at BILLIONS?
One of my LIFELONG goals is to have a positive disposition about life. I have failed miserably at this more than I have succeeded, but I strive each day for a positive outlook, no matter what the situation is.
A ‘know it all’ will drive us crazy. I know, because sometimes I act like I am one and I drive MYSELF crazy. I constantly have to tell my brain- slow that shit down, you could be wrong here. I think, we all start off as ‘know it all’s’.