Raising tweens/teens can be tough
In this episode of Happy Hour Podcast, Lindsay Sealey joins the show and talks about inspiring stories on what she does to advocate and empower girls to be themselves and connect with what truly matters in their journey through girlhood. Lindsey is an educator, speaker, consultant, and author. And she had her master’s degree in educational leadership from San Diego State University. She is a passionate girl advocate and girl & champion and has worked in education, consulting, curriculum development and special education for over 15 years.
Lindsay has a company called Bold New Girls and it aims to educate, coach, mentor girl in their learning and personal development. It has individualized learning programs to help girls with optimal social and emotional development growth.
Lindsay will be attending the Virtual Retreat on 25th of September and joining break out groups & workshops which is done in the comfort of your homes.
She discusses about the top 3 main issues that girls face in their journey through girlhood
Mental Health (Stress & Anxiety)
Girls grow up being so extra sensitive, vulnerable, and self-conscious. This is mostly triggered because of the physical changes we see in the body, cognitive development, peer pressure and the need to belong in social groups. And oftentimes all these “expectations” can lead to stress.
It is important to navigate and learn to manage stress. There are many ways and of them is to connect with someone they trust and feel comfortable with talking. It could be a mentor or a coach that they could connect with in a deeper level. Another way is to empower them to be aware of their own stress – the triggers and what activates it. Once they will be able to recognize, they will learn how to respond accordingly, and together with her mentor or coach, they could explore the tools that could help them deal or cope up with stress. It could be in different forms – Netflix, yoga, writing a journal etc.
Confidence
Research says that confidence wanes as girls grow and unfortunately that age of losing their confidence is getting younger and younger. These super confident, outspoken, outgoing girls, are pulling away from what they truly are and being more of who people want them to be and less of themselves. Because of their exposure to social media, they just have this growing awareness that there’s competition and they should compare. And at the end of the day, they’re feeling not good enough.
One of the things to help girls is be a mirror to reflect back what we see in them. When we believe in girls and their greatness, they do start to believe in themselves. It is also important that competence comes first and then confidence through skill awareness and development. Making sure they know their skills and what they’re good at, and they use it to their advantage. Now, comparison becomes more internal, because your competition is just the version of yourself yesterday.
Lindsay shares that social media has its own advantages too. Social media can also help girls connect with other girls when they can’t do it in person. They’re sharing stories, they’re feeling normal and it is inspiring for them to see how this avenue helps them to find someone going through something similar.
For parents, it is important to remind their kids of the advantages and dangers of using social media. Communicating is very critical in terms of educating the kids on their limitations and boundaries in social media.
Perfectionism
It is also called as Super Girl Syndrome. There’s pressure that society puts on girls, and they also start to put on themselves that they need to be all things to all people. They’re just trying to achieve and accomplish so many things and sometimes it is rooted from feeling not good enough. Because of the society’s pressure to be perfect, girls want to achieve things to prove that they’re worth and good enough to get that stamp of approval and validation from people.
Educating girls and helping them become aware of their strengths and encouraging them to embrace their true selves – the beauty and ugly sides of it is the key for them to know their worth. It takes time but it is also a personal and critical part of growing. It shapes their values, their interests, and passion. In result, girls begin to accomplish and achieving things based on what truly matters. And it is such a positive reframe.
Part of personal growing and learning is accepting your own strengths and flaws. And teaching girls to acknowledge their own feelings is critical factor in this process. Teaching them that are different spectrums of feelings and what they feel is valid. Instead of telling them what not to do and feel & and just brush of their feelings, encourage them to open up, go through the pain, and process them. We don’t want to create or cultivate a generation of girls who aren’t feeling their feelings.
Authors & books mentioned in the podcast:
Boying Up & Girling Up both books written by Mayim Bialik– it talks about body development, body changes, and feelings. It also discusses the importance of social development and other aspects boys and girls go through in their journey through life.
Strong is the New Pretty by Kate Parker is a photo book that empowers girls to basically embrace diversity, all ethnicities, all backgrounds, all skill levels, and all ages. She also lead the way by turning her lens on boys by celebrating the strength and spirit of Boyhood in her released of The Heart of a Boy book.
You can also check out Lindsay’s books below.
About Lindsay Sealey
Lindsay earned her master’s degree in Educational Leadership from San Diego State University. She is a passionate girl advocate and girl champion and has worked in education, consulting, curriculum development, and special education for over fifteen years. She is the founder and CEO of Bold New Girls ™, a unique and comprehensive teaching and coaching company for girls and young women, and their parents, teachers, and caregivers. She is an Educational and Personal Development Specialist, focusing on positively influencing the lives of young girls through the integration of academic and personal growth strategies. She is the author of two incredible books, Growing Strong Girls and the follow up Rooted, Resilient and Ready.
Lindsay is also deeply dedicated to walking alongside girls on their journey through girlhood – and feels grateful every day for the privilege of living out what she believes to be true – I can make a difference each and every day in the lives of young girls by listening to them, meeting them where they are at, and being being present to them – to create a safe and sacred space for them to share their stories, connect with their emotions and inner experiences, and share what truly matters most to them. She aims to motivate, empower, and inspire through teaching, coaching, consulting, mentoring, and guiding. That’s exactly why she created Bold New Girls ™.
