Alcoholism. Anorexia. A long list of challenges to overcome. This blog post is from our podcast with Casey May Griswald, in which she shares her story of overcoming severe challenges to find meaning and self worth. Dee met Casey in their nine-month Kundalini teacher training program, and Dee was inspired by Casey’s authenticity in sharing her story. Casey’s comments have been edited for length and clarity; check out the podcast to hear the interview in her own words. And, as always, post a review if you leave here inspired!
Here is Casey’s story:
“I have always been in search of something greater than me, a greater purpose. I was always looking for that growing up. Even when I was just five years old, I was fascinated with the idea of people who have left this world, and I was intrigued when I learned about Hinduism. Later my parents took me to a Hindu temple, where I would stay for hours repeating mantras. But challenges in my life led me down a different path.”
“About ten years ago, I sank into a dark low that lasted for several years. I had gotten divorced, and I didn’t believe that I belonged here anymore. I was struggling with alcoholism as well as anorexia. On February 11th, 2014, I was admitted to the ER for the sixth time in 30 days. I was 88 pounds, and the disorder had taken over my life. In medical terms, I was “51/50ed,” or held in the hospital because I was deemed a harm to myself. I had nurses with me 24/7. I knew I needed to stay in the hospital, because the doctors and I didn’t think I would make it if I returned home.”
“After four days in the hospital, I wasn’t sure how I could get into a treatment center, especially since I didn’t have insurance at the time. My aunt knew my situation and had heard of a rehab program called Rebecca’s Place. She marched into their building and demanded to speak to Rebecca herself. I later learned that Rebecca is barely ever in the office since she travels so often for her center, but she was there that day. When my aunt told my story, she said it felt as if something beyond her was speaking. Incredibly, they agreed to accept me and cover the costs, so I began on my path toward recovery.”
“Later, during a trauma program as part of the program at Rebecca’s Place, I had a moment of surrender when I gained clarity: in a conversation with God, I understood that all the lows I had experienced were part of my larger purpose to help others overcome their challenges. These messages about helping other people kept coming to me during my time there. After I finished, I became a recovery assistant. I was able to go back and work at the same place that got me better. That was an amazing experience to help others on their journey, and it goes back to the conversation with God when I received the message that I needed to know the lows in order to give back.”
“After working as a recovery assistant, I continued on. I become a oneness blessing giver. I then became a Reiki certified practitioner and grew a large clientele doing that work. Again, I heard a clear message that unfolded from a higher power. I’ve been very upfront about my experience where I had a vision that the Kundalini teacher was my ultimate destination for spiritual growth.
In my Kundalini training, I was struck by the concept of *scara,* ingrained thought patterns that can be passed down even before birth through generations. For me, that *scara* was the feeling of not being worthy. At first I didn’t think I was worthy to pursue Kundalini teacher training, but l trusted in the messages I’d received. When I arrived at the teacher training program, I knew my vision would be achieved because I had known there would be a sense of oneness and unity among the group, which I felt immediately.”
“Dee and I have talked a lot about another concept from Kundalini called *seva.* Seva essentially means selfless service, but not a grudging form of service. It must come from your authentic being, not a feeling of burden or obligation. It comes down to being that authentic person at all times. Service is truly selfless when we understand that I am you, and you are me. We are all interconnected. Picking up trash is a small example of how performing service joyfully can be a form of making a living amend. Someone could have a negative thought about cleaning litter: “The people who litter suck and I have to clean up their mess — it’s not fair!” Instead, with *seva*, our mindset should be frictionless: “This is an opportunity to serve our world and make it more beautiful for the next people who come. I am not perfect, so I will hold no blame or judgment in this circumstance, but use the opportunity to make a living amends.” True service can’t be resentful; it has to be authentic — and this lesson can be applied to all aspects of our lives.”
“Ultimately, for my journey through addiction and eating disorder, my final advice is about connection. We are all interconnected. If someone you know seems to be going through a challenging time, check in with them. Everyone in my life says they wish they had spoken up sooner to ask me if I was okay. Sometimes we are held back because we don’t want to interfere in someone else’s life. But we owe it to ourselves and others to show up for people when they are in need. And if you are struggling, maybe there is something bothering you inside. That’s okay, but find someone to talk to. You don’t need to suffer. Speak up. To everyone listening, you are beautiful. You have a purpose. Find what brings you joy. You are worth all the greatness that life has to offer.”
Thank you again to Casey May! Find Casey here and feel free to listen to the full episode here:
