By guest blogger, Jennifer Spitzer – Bueller
Remove things that do not serve a purpose in your life. One simple sentence. So much depth and meaning.
I was at yoga today when my Restorative Yoga Instructor said those powerful words.
I have probably been advised to do this several times in a variety of ways by many different people, almost all professionals. My psychiatrist has told me to “set boundaries” when people ask too much of me. My therapist has told me to make sure I take care of myself and find things I enjoy doing to give my life purpose and meaning. My husband has told me to say “no” when I am not feeling up to something, to ask for help when I need it, and to not let myself be taken advantage of by anyone.
Today, while laying on my yoga mat hugging my knees into my chest, she simply reminded each of us to “Remove things from our lives that do not serve us.” I began to think and so many things came to mind. Relationships, eating habits, negative thoughts, judgmental thoughts towards myself and others,
I have made progress already and have rid myself of certain relationships that are not healthy for me. Luckily, I have not had any toxic relationships in recent years, but I have spent time with people who are negative, who complain, and who have a generally negative outlook on life. I have been shedding myself of relationships with these people and will continue to do so. I want my valuable time to be spent with friends, family and others who are positive. I want to surround myself with those who I can learn from, and people who seek to find solutions to problems rather than just complain and expect others to sweep them up and take care of them. In this way I will grow in character and spirit, rather than shrivel up and wither.
My nutrition suffered in the past few years. I developed anorexia nervosa 3 years ago and treated my body poorly, halting it from thriving. I intentionally denied my body essential nutrients and minerals. After receiving intensive treatment, and viewing my body as the temple that houses my soul, I realized that I needed to fill it with nutrient rich foods that satiate me, thus keeping my body healthy. Restricting my body of the food that it deserves does not serve my health, so I am focused on treating my body with the love that it deserves.
My head used to fill up with negative thoughts about myself. Any small mistake, and I deemed myself a failure. I even used to give myself a grade for the day based on how much I felt that I had accomplished. It was usually an A or an F. Either I got everything done, or I messed up, and then felt that everything was going to collapse due to my errors. I had to learn to accept that I am human and I am going to make mistakes. Do I love my husband any less when he forgets something? Do I berate my daughter if she doesn’t get 100% on a test? Absolutely not. I learned that if I spoke to them the way I spoke to myself, I would be abusing them. So why do I abuse myself? I need to treat myself with compassion, love, and forgiveness, just as I so easily give to others.
Judgement. It’s a harsh word and a very negative character trait. It is not who I want to be. I do not want to judge others. As I look back on my life, I have spent time judging others with both silent thoughts and spoken words. I know better now. Pre-judging others serves no one. To be judged before someone knows why you are thinking or feeling something divides people. To prejudge another is to have unkind thoughts towards another person without reason. This reminds me of a quote about anger, but fits for judgement as well. “Holding onto anger and judgement is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.” It eats you alive inside and keeps your spirit stuck in a constant state of negative energy which affects both your mental and physical health.
I truly believe that you cannot be healthy if you do not love yourself and others. Compassion towards yourself and others surrounds you with love. Treating your body like a temple nourishes and fortifies it, giving you strength, better health and a clear mind. Holding judgment and putting yourself in someone else’s place allows you to truly learn to listen to people and to truly understand them.
I am on a journey. I admit that I still get upset with myself for making mistakes, but I am learning forgiveness too. I try to choose nourishing foods and make sure I feed my body to give it the best chance for health. And when I jump to judge someone for their thoughts or actions, I stop. I realize that I do not know why they made a certain choice. I try to listen, to learn, to really hear them. More often, the judgments are slipping away and compassion and understanding are sliding into their place.
By eliminating toxic people, by nourishing my body, and by showing compassion and forgiveness towards myself and others, I am becoming the person I want to be. I am striving to develop a healthy body, spirit, heart and mind.
What keeps you healthy?
Written by guest Blogger Jennifer Spitzer – Bueller. Find out more about her and her journey through chronic illness by visiting her blog.
