Welcome to season 3 of the Happy Hour Podcast! I am so excited to launch this season!
There is an epidemic (trend?) of feeling sick. This is in no way saying that there aren’t terrible illnesses and tragedies in the world- only that there is a significant increase in those of us feeling ‘sick’ and sadly- more women are being affected than men (or at least reported).
In today’s podcast, my husband and I discussed this issue and came up with two trains of thoughts:
1- for those feeling ill; don’t deny that you are feeling less than ideal- but don’t use language to stay there. And perhaps consider how difficult it is for the ones who care for you- not just how difficult it is for you.
2- for those of you with someone you care about feeling ill; don’t offer solutions unless asked. Perhaps just offer a listening ear and a hug.
There is a good chance, with the level of illnesses reported, that you, dear reader, are either one or the other.
Let’s first talk about those that are not feeling well.
Maybe you have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder or you just are extremely fatigued a lot and/or struggling with some illness diagnosis and you find yourself stuck in this cycle of not feeling well, not getting support or empathy and just in a shitty rut.
Ugh.
Let me start by saying- I get it. This isn’t a comparison- but I know the feeling of being sick. I choose not to talk about it much as that tends to perpetuate it for me, but I just want you to know I am here with you.
However.
I also am not willing to stay here, in the dark muck, with you. Nor should you be willing to stay. I refuse to complain up – instead I surrender and show up.
I want you to consider how you talk to yourself and others throughout your day. Are you constantly complaining about how ill you are? Are you seeking attention and validation for your illness? Are you not participating in life because of it? Does it serve you in some way to be ill?
These questions aren’t meant to get the defensive hackles up- I promise. They are meant to allow some time for reflection.
Could you maybe talk about how much healthier you are getting, as that is your desire? Or just not talk about it at all and instead focus on what is going right? Not to ignore it- but to focus on other wonderful things (unless of course you are talking about it for SOLUTIONS, not to share the misery).
Could you journal about your health in a positive way? Could you pray and/or meditate about your health in a positive way? Could you try to do one more thing today than yesterday that would be considered a win?
This is regardless of what you are suffering with- talking about how bad it is only makes it worse. Consider your language and actions around your illness and try this:
For 24 hours do not talk or utter one word about how bad you feel. Don’t groan as you get up or move around. Just focus on the beautiful things right now (even if it is your very breath you can take or your pretty toenails). Your body is listening- the very cells are- what are you telling it?
You may also be frustrated because of the lack of validation from others (have you ever heard or felt the words: “can’t you just feel better”??). Instead of getting sad or frustrated by this, consider how hard it is to understand what one is going through if they themselves have not experienced it. Also consider how hard and helpless you would feel if something important to you was broken, ill or upset and you couldn’t do anything to ‘fix’ it. Wouldn’t you be frustrated too? Offering empathy to others, even when you feel you need it yourself, can provide a healing space within your own body. Try it.
Let’s chat with those who maybe have a significant other or special person in their life that is ill and is having a hard time.
It is hard. Not knowing what to do. Feeling helpless. Or maybe you really are frustrated and just need an outlet (this is a good time to consider a therapist maybe). Regardless there are a few things you should know:
- your loved one won’t get better with your frustration (no really, they won’t get better by you being angry or upset they are sick)
- your loved one probably doesn’t need your advice on how you think they should get better (unless they have asked….and yes I know that special supplement did the trick for that other person..)
- most likely your loved one is just wanting someone to sit with them (maybe hug them- or if you are my husband, it could be more than a hug…) and just say something like, “I don’t know what to do for you, but I am here and want you to get better- let me know if there is anything I can do, or if you just want to Netflix and chill”
There isn’t a magic solution for feeling better that fits everyone. No there isn’t a particular diet. Or IV treatment. Or pill. Or supplement. Or celery juice. Or CBD oil. Or workout regime. Or meditation. Or prayer. Or surgery. Or rain dance. One or more of these approaches might work here and there for some- but regardless of the trends and popular blog sites or what anyone is saying or doing: there is not a magic pill to fix everyone’s issues. There isn’t. What works for one may not at all work for another. That is the beautiful (and at times frustrating) thing about humans- we are all so uniquely designed.
What is universal is this:
Love. In the form of: language and empathy.
If we each considered the language we use (whether we are sick and need to stop complaining up, but showing up, or whether we are in the support role and just need to listen); language is healing.
If we each considered the other person’s journey may not be easy (no matter outside appearances) and just honor and meet them where they are- that energy is healing.
We all can play a role in healing ourselves and each other. And as cheesy as it sounds- it all starts and ends with love; the underlying engine for language and empathy.
Tune into season 3’s kick off show! Thank you to our sponsor, Activated Faith Candles!
