The light within so much darkness

This morning, while feeding the chickens, I contemplated what this year has brought. I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you this year has brought a lot of fucked up shit.

But I would also be lying to you if I didn’t tell you this year has also brought some of my biggest blessings too.

As I am going into month 4 of living in an RV on our ranch, I want to rant about how difficult it is living in a damn RV with two kids and running our business. And it is a pain in the ass. But it also is a gift.

I want to rant about how both my husband and I have had to completely switch gears (mid heavy stride) in our businesses. Which is hard as hell. But it also has opened up even more opportunities.

Contrast provides perspective

You see, without contrast, we sometimes forget. We get too comfortable. We become entitled. We fail to see the beauty around us. We fail to make true connections (to others…and to ourselves).

And I wonder if that is the whole point of 2020. We got too comfortable. We weren’t noticing Earth or other people. We weren’t even noticing ourselves. We were maybe just going along and checking off our lists, not giving two shits what our list was doing to other people, to the planet and/or even to ourselves.

Right now, with my family and I living in our RV- we get to appreciate what we really need (and don’t need). We get to appreciate space. We get to appreciate comfort. We get to appreciate a damn oven.

Right now, by having our world flipped on us with COVID, we get to appreciate our old struggles (wouldn’t you like to have some of your old problems back right now?). We get to appreciate our neighbors. We get to appreciate human touch. We get to appreciate smiles (that we can actually see). We get to appreciate the job we bitched about. We get to appreciate our health.

Can you see the light?

Or at least we are invited to do all of this. I suppose we could also just get caught up in fear (the media is doing a hell of a job helping out with this) and division (again…the media is on top of this for us).

But I am wondering if maybe we could choose to tune out all of the noise for once. To put down the to-do list (that maybe became even more frantic when this apocalypse hit…I mean I even contemplated an underground bunker on our ranch people..just sayin’).

Maybe we could just pause and take stock.

What are you appreciating in your life right now?Or, what are you failing to appreciate?

Right this very moment, I am appreciating:

my car starting for me this am
my kids chatter as I drove them to school
the school district that we are in, that are doing everything in their power to keep kids healthy, while also providing a much needed learning and social environment
my dog snoring as I type this (which means he is safe and feels comfortable enough to sleep)
private moments with my husband (which, people…we are in said tiny damn RV..with our kids)
revisiting the feel of holding my granddaughters hand
revisiting the memory of getting to watch my new granddaughter being born via FaceTime
my clusterf*ck and chaotic, ridiculous set up to do laundry at the ranch (at least I have clothes to wash and a place to do it)
a comfortable bed to sleep on each night
supportive family who always believe in me and our crazy dreams
my chickens (have I mentioned how much I love my damn chickens?)
my cup of green tea I sipped on this morning, while feeding the chickens
fresh clean water to drink
water, provided straight from the earth, to shower and bathe in
toilet paper, I am appreciative of the damn toilet paper
police, firefighters, military and medical personnel that put their lives on the line every damn day for us all
friends who are more like family
my favorite brand of tequila (by the way I tried my Hollywood boyfriends tequila – if you know me you know who this is- and it was ok, this is still my favorite one)
a healthy body and healthy loved ones
my hormone doctor (my husband very much appreciates her too)
the incredible people building our dream house managed by our awesome builder
the land we are building our dreams on
my coaching clients that trust me and teach me as much as I teach them
not having any car payments (and still loving my old ass car)
the buyers of our RV (who let us rent it back till our house is complete)
my tummy rumbling as it gets closer to my lunch time and I recognize that I am able to feed myself (and I am looking forward to eating at my favorite restaurant)
my favorite cold beverage right now (thanks a lot Cassy..I am addicted to this shit now)
the ranch dirt that is all over everything in the rv right now…like always is over everything (cause that means we are moving, living and getting shit done)
the fact that my best friends bought gorgeous property in Maui (where I will be spending the month of July every year from now on, thank you very much)
my upcoming Karma Yoga Weekend at the ranch
this connection to you right now

Could you spend some time writing down what you are appreciating? I mean, really take stock. My goal for this week is to continuously speak praise and appreciation, in all the things.

Got to my father in laws house to help him pack- “thankful I am here safe”
Drive down the street and notice the person in the car next to me – offer a smile and “grateful I could notice you and that we are showing up today”
My cell phone dings during my coaching calls – “thankful I have a phone and service and can pay the bill”
Notice the many scratches and bruises on my arms- “grateful I can use a chainsaw and get to work on my own land”

There really isn’t a moment of time we can’t be appreciative and grateful. And the more we are, the more we have to be grateful for.

You can be scared and hurt and angry- that is ok. But in order to move from those painful places- to be in the present, to feel loved and to fully love- we have to also recognize the gifts, the blessings, the beauty and the light within all the darkness. Which I promise, are right there, waiting for you.