Finding our purpose
It’s 2019! Welcome to our first podcast episode and blog post of the new year! Dee and I discussed a topic that often comes to mind as a new year prompts reflection— purpose.
Recently, it’s become a bit of a buzzword. Popular books like Simon Sinek’s ‘Start With Why’, for instance, exhort business leaders to have a grand and identified sense of purpose – an intimidating prospect! Have you faced anxiety and self-doubt about “finding” your “purpose”? Join us as we rethink what purpose really means and then consider some valuable questions that can help bring you into alignment with a more harmonious sense of purpose.
Purpose isn’t something we find
When people talk about “finding” purpose, language tempts us to believe that purpose is outside of our being. It seems like it’s something we need to find or get. In reality, purpose comes from within. Marianne Williamson (check out her books and teachings if you haven’t heard of her!) says that purpose is not something we find, it’s something we are.
I wholeheartedly embrace this perspective about purpose. To elaborate, purpose is the highest expression of ourselves in any given moment. Purpose means being present in the moment and doing the best we can. Our grand and overarching purpose is to love and be loved, and this grand purpose can be expressed in every small moment of our days.
First question to consider:
Before we can tackle “purpose,” we must consider self-alignment. If you’re like Dee, then you already define purpose AS self-alignment!
In order to self align consider these questions:
What are areas about yourself that you criticize, and how can you turn it into positive self-talk?
In other words, where is there a lack of self-love, and how can that be healed?
Loving other people is amazing, but it has to start with yourself… and then extend it outward.
Purpose is as simple as your relationship with yourself.
Questions when you’re feeling out of alignment:
Am I spending time on activities I don’t like?
Is my energy or frequency “off” when I’m with certain people?
Are my relationships holding me down?
Is my self-esteem down?
Am I saying things that I later regret?
Am I complaining?
When my answers to these questions are “yes,” I know that I need to get back in alignment, which is where I’m not stressed about my purpose, but knowing that living my life in a state of self-alignment is fulfilling my purpose.
Exposure to others’ views
Another way to develop purpose is through self-education. For example, reading self-help and self-development books exposes you to new ideas. Dee discussed in our podcast that her own self centered views of purpose came about through reading and exploring, and ultimately curating the ideas that resonated most with her. Ironically, that led her to take a break from all the outside influences of other authors and viewpoints because there is so much to be learned from within. It doesn’t always need to come from an outside author or source, but those other influences can be a helpful tool to prompt thought in new directions.
Gaining purpose through authentic altruism and service
We know… if we had a drinking game for this podcast, it would be to drink every time our steps included gratitude! But altruism is a bit different from gratitude, because it requires an audience beyond yourself. Synonyms include unselfishness, humanity, and philanthropy. But wait – true service shouldn’t be a sacrifice. It shouldn’t feel like a chore. If we are serving for self-interests, we aren’t aligned. ‘Crooked’ politicians, for instance, are “serving” but without the alignment of their moral compass. If you are just going through the motions, or feeling obligated to do something, it isn’t true service. What are you really giving to the soup kitchen, for instance, if you don’t sincerely want to be there? Service can take so many forms, like holding space for someone else in a conversation. Service could even be staying home alone but doing the activities that bring you fulfillment, but going into the world somehow could spread that impact further.
Taking the LOOONG view of purpose (AKA, a day in Bali)
Imagine if you had one day to spend any way you wanted to. Imagine that the world would go on pause, and it would be a day to experience anything. Dee would spend that day traveling to Bali. She would shut off her phone and do nothing but soak up every minute of that experience. Our human lifetime feels so real and so long, but in the infinite scale, our human existence is like that one day in Bali. We are a small blip in the time span of forever. So, how can we live day-to-day as if we are treasuring that one day in Bali?
And, how can we use the one-day-in-Bali mindset to find purpose in getting a job or paycheck? Dee was at a Fortune 500 company as a vice president, and then left that to run her own business. Next, she joined another huge company but under a very different role and title. The motivation for the move was so she could grow and gain. The position was not a trophy; for her it means personal development and education. So, our advice is to find a work situation that helps you learn and evolve in ways that feel meaningful to you.
We often say, you will attract what’s in your thought. So, when you are in a place of true alignment, the rest will follow, even money. BUT, if fear is part of the equation of your thought, then that is what will be attracted to you. Another part of your purpose, then, is to heal those fears.
Your self as the starting point
No matter what other job title you hold, your true business card says, YOUR NAME, CEO. Your #1 purpose and job is to tune into you, and find what brings you alignment. Chill out about everything else!
Howard Thurman— a renowned theologian, civil rights activist, and pastor of one of the largest interracial churches of his time— is quoted as saying, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Instead, do what makes you come alive, because the world needs people who have come alive.”
Books discussed:
Tune into the show:
