Expectations VS reality with Significant Others
If you have been in a relationship for some time, you may experience moments that you feel like you have lost that passion you used to have for your partner. The reality is when you start dating someone, the excitement and the thrill is just there, and it’s almost uncontrollable. But then when you get into a different state of relationship, sometimes the excitement and thrill just fade away, and you can see that your differences and their bad habits are magnified and this is why you start to feel uncomfortable about it.
COVID Strain
COVID has definitely put a stress on every relationship in every household, across the world. When you got married, you may have thought that the biggest form of contention in your relationship might be finances, infidelity, and lack of communication, but then COVID-19 weaseled its way into your marriage.
After months of isolation and stay-at-home orders, you might find all that extra togetherness overwhelming. You just begin to notice their bad habits and the whole not being on the same page causes frustrations and imbalance in relationships.
Communicate and pick your battles
Marriage can reveal personality flaws or bad habits of your spouse-often much to your annoyance. Normally it involves petty issues or tasks but if done on a regular basis, the effects can be serious more than just nitpicking. It is important to communicate with your spouse what you truly feel about what they did or didn’t do.
Learn to pick your battles and save your arguments for the big issues. Maybe just learn to see what’s important. And accept that’s part of their personality. And it’s not their intention to annoy or offend you. And sometimes these unsolvable problems are things you simply need to learn to live with. Your spouse will always have some habits that annoy you. No one promised you a marriage conflict-free
Rather than nitpicking and pointing out what they didn’t do, turn your own thinking around to simply be kind and show respect. A compliment can be far more helpful. In the long run, you learn to deal with each other’s quirks without quarreling.
Decide; what is it you really need?
So before you decide to nitpick, focus on your internal feelings and what’s important to you. What is it that you really need? To be heard? There’s a good chance the nitpicking is just a poor attempt to get some other important need met.
If you can’t stop nitpicking, acknowledge this as a problem and get help for it. After all, relationships evolve and they change as we change. Communication is key. It’s critical and that’s make it through a pandemic.
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About the show:
Welcome to the Happy Hour Podcast! I’m Shannon Jamail, the host of this show, along with my friends Stefanie and Angie. I’m a therapist turned performance coach and an author. Here in Happy Hour, we talk about life, relationships, business and other stuff with the intention to help each other connect, grow and thrive.
About Stefanie – She is a yoga instructor and brings a passionate healing touch to all that she does. She’s also a certified birth and postpartum doula and a nurse. She lives in Newport Beach California with her husband and two beautiful kiddos.
About Angie – She is an incredible lawyer that brings her determined and feisty attitude to everything she does. She’s the momma of two cute-as-hell dogs and an adorable cranky cat. She lives in Savannah Georgia with her fiancé. She’s also starting her training as a yoga teacher.
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