Hi, my loves! I hope you had a fantastic Labor Day weekend. Today, I want to have a chat with you about failure. Despite the title, I hesitate to use the word because the only actual failure is not doing anything or trying at all. This post is dedicated to my youngest daughter, who continues to challenge and shape our daily outlook as a family. She has shown me how important our view on failure is. Get some tea, tequila, or matcha latte, and let’s get into it!
Oh, Failure, Where Art Thou?
My 12-year-old daughter probably has what I believe to be most people’s definition of failure. It runs along the line of, “I tried it, but it didn’t work, so I am a failure.” But goodness me, can you imagine if our big inventors felt this way? How long did it take to figure out electricity? Or building working cars? Or engineering skyscrapers? Or flying planes? Or any great thing we have overcome in our lives to accomplish our dreams?
EVERYTHING starts with failure.
There isn’t anything that works right on a first attempt. And how great is the universe for creating happy accidents because of failures? Think about discoveries born out of failure, like the creation of penicillin or even pacemakers. They were never intended to work that way, and what had probably been considered a major mistake has gone on to save millions of lives.
Failure Hurts, but Resilience Makes You Stronger
At our root core, we all dread failing. It’s embarrassing (internally or externally), it causes you to guess your choices, and it can genuinely hurts one’s feelings. Ironically, it is the process of failure that holds more gifts than one could even imagine. While eventual success might paint you in golden hues for a moment, the gritty, underappreciated works of failure create the true masterpiece of our character, resilience, and wisdom.
We don’t learn from our actual successes, but rather what it took to get there.
Suppose you’re struggling with the pain of failing. I invite you to think of this moment not as the antithesis of success but as its wise mentor. Success in itself can make you complacent, but failure keeps you agile, hungry, and inventive. Think about someone you know who has seemingly coasted through life. They are likely out of touch with reality. Even worse, they can unwittingly come across as annoying because they have no challenges to occupy their minds. I’ve had a hard life, and let me tell you something: I’d choose failure any day because of the important lessons I’d have skipped otherwise.
Failure is the gym for your willpower, the proving ground for your tenacity. In the process of failing, you are given the critical opportunity to refine your approach, reassess your goals, and recalibrate your efforts. How fortunate are we to have these moments from the universe to reflect, reset, and rally again?
Four Reasons Why It’s Important to Make Mistakes
I can think of four reasons why I have come to appreciate failure. I’ve listed them all below.
- We’re conditioned to fear failure because, on the surface, it looks like a setback. What’s often ignored, however, is that setbacks are always set ups for comebacks. Each failure is a layer of foundation upon which you can build your dreams. They help you focus on your objectives, revealing what truly matters. In other words, THEY GIVE YOU YOUR WHY!
- Another beauty of failure is that it lacks finality. It’s often not the end of the road but a turn that offers a new perspective or chance for better success than you’d imagine. You can stop, look around, and decide whether you want to keep going down the same path or cut a new trail. It breaks routine, encouraging you to innovate and take creative leaps you might never have considered otherwise.
- Failure cultivates empathy and humility, two virtues that are indispensable for personal growth and meaningful success. When you’ve fought through failure, you become more compassionate toward others who are grappling with their own challenges. Your story can become their inspiration, just as you have been inspired by those who turned their struggles into stepping stones.
- Failure is a staunch fact-checker, a brutal but honest reviewer, and, most importantly, a teacher who is always in session. It doesn’t care about your past accolades or future potential. Nope! Instead, it assesses you in the now, offering valuable insights that no amount of success can provide.
Fail On Baby! Fail Onward and Upward to Success!
The next time you face failure, take a deep breath and embrace it. Shake its hand and look it in the eye, understanding that you’re meeting one of the greatest, though sternest, instructors you’ll ever have in your life.
Remember that diamonds are formed under pressure, and steel is forged in fire. You’re no different; you’ll uncover the most radiant, resilient version of yourself through trials and failures.
XOXO Shannon
P.S. I wrote a new book! It’s called The Retreat Leaders Playbook; pop over to Amazon or The Retreat Ranch’s website to check it out.
