The Secret Ingredient You Need for Lasting Change This New Year
Hi guys! It’s January! That time of year when you have all these resolutions, goals, plans, and vision boards. You’ve got the scale out and ready to weigh in. You’ve got all this motivation, and then…something happens to derail you and all that stuff is left in the dust of good intentions.
This year I’ve called in my mindset expert friend, Heather Hakes, to share with us her secret to real lasting change. You may have heard her on her podcast, Mind Over Matter, or read her book Take the Leap. She was in the corporate world for years before starting her coaching business, where she helps clients break through their barriers.
We talked about the secret ingredient to creating real lasting change this year. And that ingredient is MINDSET.
The right mindset lays a solid foundation for change.
Mindset seems to be a cliche term because everyone is using it these days. But it’s true–without a firm foundation, a house will crumble. The foundation is your mindset, made up of thoughts and beliefs.
Anyone who has built a house knows just how important a foundation is. A ton of money goes into that concrete and it is everything!
The importance of mindset reminded me of my attempts at intermittent fasting. The first time I tried it, I failed miserably. I was hungry. It didn’t fit my schedule. Basically, I was resentful and pissed off that I had to eat this way.
But the second time I tried it, I was determined to make it work because I wanted to be healthy. I mean I really got my mindset right and was convinced it would work. And you know what? It did, and it was easy.
Heather says it’s because I had a strong “why” the second time around. Without a strong mindset, you’re setting yourself up for failure every time.
How do we set the right mindset?
The first thing that Heather notes is that there isn’t one “right” way to achieve our goals. There’s only the right way for us. Meaning we take bits and pieces from every teacher and author we study and put it together in a way that works for us individually.
For her, the number one way to set up a good mindset for the day is through a morning routine. She uses the acronym GREAT for her routine: gratitude, read, exercise, affirmations, transcribing (writing).
The first thing she does is list the things she’s grateful for, followed by a little inspirational reading (or listening). Then she gets her body moving with some exercise. It can be a 10-minute HIIT session or some yoga or stretching. Affirmations are next…those “I Am” statements that build confidence. Use statements like “I am confident” or “I am a winner.” Whatever you’re working on at the moment. Lastly, she does a little writing which could be a journal entry or a blog post.
I love this so much I think I’m going to steal it! My routine is similar, but I think this is a nice and tidy way to set it up. Routines give us security and a sense of accomplishment, so I love that Heather lists this as a key to having a good mindset.
What about the challenges that threaten a good mindset?
Consistency. I wonder if this is the hardest part for some people? Morning routines can get cut off by just about anything. Once you’ve fallen off the wagon (in general, not in terms of addiction) it’s hard to get back on. What do we do?
“First, you’ve got to have self-compassion,” Heather says. It’s OK if you miss a day, just get back to it tomorrow. If you don’t give yourself compassion and grace, you might be tempted to chuck it all and say it doesn’t work for you.
What if you can’t do it? What if achieving your goal just isn’t for you?
Heather says:
That’s an excuse and a choice. That’s the best part…it’s a choice. Ask yourself–Do you want to evolve and be the best version of you, or do you want to repeat the self-defeating and self-sabotaging behaviors?
You have a choice and are 100 percent responsible for your life!
Another huge challenge to maintaining a good mindset is self-doubt. Even I come up against this. No one is immune! What I’ve learned is (as the saying goes)…
Whatever you resist, persists.
There is a gift in every trigger. So the next time you are feeling anxiety or doubt, don’t avoid it. Let it run its course. Then get it out by changing your physiology. Moving your body changes your focus and mindset.
For me, this is a dance party. For you, it could be walking or yoga or whatever makes you move. Running is a go-to of mine too because it ignites that champion mindset in me.
Lean In
I (Shannon) talk about this with my clients a lot too. I tell them to lean into what they’re feeling instead of running over it or numbing it with alcohol or busyness. They may be feeling anger, sadness, bitterness, grief, whatever. I tell them…
Lean into it until it’s lost all its power. Lean into it until it has nothing else to give you.
The whole numbing agent thing is a big one. We need to figure out what ours is so that we can keep it from getting us off course. It could be social media, shopping, Netflix, food. There are more things now than ever before that we can use to numb our feelings.
Always consuming. Never acting.
I noticed this phrase in Heather’s bio, “we’re always consuming and never taking action.” You may have heard the popular term “self-help junkie.” They read all the books and listen to all the podcasts and audibles, then never put any of it into action. They’ve got all the content and none of the lasting change. Maybe you need to stop seeking out more solutions and realize the solutions are within you.
Other times you might need someone to challenge you in ways that you wouldn’t challenge yourself. A mentor or coach can push you and help you to unlock the answers within us.
Either way, you can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.
Learn more about mindset.
I hope you’ll list to our conversation on the latest episode of the Happy Hour Podcast and that you’ll learn some tips to help you
achieve your goals for 2020! If you want to learn more about Heather Hakes, visit her website heatherhakes.com where you can find her social media links, podcast, and book.
