What’s my fear?
Well, like every human on this beautiful planet, I get fearful. Fear is normal, but it’s when you let that fear hold you back or control your lives, then, you’re not truly living. I do my best to manage my worries; equine yoga has been my go-to coping strategy over these last couple years. Not gonna lie; it wasn’t always green tea and freshly baked cookies. For instance, when I first started considering hosting retreats (well over a decade ago), I was afraid. Here is a list of things I feared:
- Will people show up? (They did)
- Is this a bad investment? (It wasn’t)
- Can I truly make a difference in someone’s life? (I did…and do)
Can you imagine where I would be today if I let my fear of failure stop me from starting Mind & Body Complete retreats? I’d be caught in a constant state of wondering ‘what if’, and I’d only have grown more fearful. Fear begets more fear.
How did I get rid of my fear?
I’ve always been clear that my start in life wasn’t paved in gold (or silver or even bronze). But I’d be damned if the fear of not trying would hold me back. I learned to look my fears in its eyes (it feels like it has eyes, so we’re rolling with it) and push past it.
Facing fears didn’t always go smoothly; you should read my book Surrender to check out some of my epic f*&! ups. But again, with every obstacle and fear I overcame (which means I learned and grew from them), I have built my dream life – horses and all!
When I planned my first corporate retreat, I was as excited as I was nervous. And now, as I sit here, many years later, and well into a month after publishing The Retreat Leaders Playbook, I can’t help but contemplate that if I had let that little voice of self-doubt from my fears win, I’d never have my businesses. I wouldn’t have my books, and I wouldn’t have my horses.
My 10 cents? You need to dig as deep as you can to find your why and hold onto it as you DO IT AFRAID. It is the only way to eliminate (or reduce) your fear about trying something new and/or exciting. Fear of failure will happen; it is inevitable. But…it’s important to apply radical acceptance that life is about living fully…even if it means doing some things afraid…in order to accomplish what we desire. We never know how things will truly work out, but always, ALWAYS, they turn out in our favor. We don’t always see the favor in the moment (especially if we run into many obstacles), but every ‘bad’ thing that has happened to me ended up equipping me and creating even greater things. This means you have nothing to lose by trying to overcome the crippling fear that comes along with trying something new. You need to trust yourself that:
- Your fears are probably pointless and even if realized, everything will end up just fine (or even better).
- You will not regret what you try, only what you don’t try.
Sit on that for a while, please.
What Happened Next
I feared; I practiced radical acceptance of the situation; I trusted myself; I tried; I failed; I did it again. Then, I feared; I practiced radical acceptance of the situation; I trusted myself; I tried; I won and repeated the cycle.
In my new book, I explain that not everyone finds success as a retreat leader. But then I explain that if you’ve considered it and you have some extra love to share, you ought to try it. Seventy five percent of people discover, like I did, that it’s their calling. The rest either go on to simply enjoy attending retreats or find success and joy elsewhere. But if you don’t overcome that fear, you won’t ever be able to cross it off your list.
So, what happens next? You try. You even do it afraid. Let me know how it all works out.
XOXO Shannon
Love retreats, want to plan them, but are too afraid or uncertain where to start? Check out my new book, The Retreat Leaders Playbook, available on Amazon or The Retreat Ranch’s website.
