This episode of the Happy Hour Podcast is one that will leave you in awe of the compassion and love of Bonnie & Mark Barnes and her family. I’ve heard their story many times, and I still get chills each time I listen to it. So cozy up, grab a cup of your favorite beverage, and be blessed by her story of loss, compassion, and triumph.
Bonnie’s stepson Patrick Barnes woke up one morning at the age of 33 with blisters in his mouth. It seemed unusual, so he went to see his doctor. His platelet count was alarmingly low. After running some tests, they diagnosed Patrick with Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (ITP), an autoimmune disease that affects the normal clotting of blood.
Patrick survived Hodgkins Disease twice, so everyone knew he was a fighter. Bonnie and her husband Mark flew to Texas to be with Patrick, his wife Tena, and their newborn daughter. The next few weeks were an emotional rollercoaster, as Patrick suffered from internal bleeding that doctors could not stop.
They took Patrick to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle for a bone marrow transplant, but sadly, he passed away before he could receive the treatment. Just eight weeks after his diagnosis.
Days after Patrick’s passing, Bonnie and her family were searching for a way to fill this giant void in their hearts. They were asking:
What can we think of that’s positive?
How can we fill this hole?
How can it all have meaning?
All they could think of was the extraordinary compassion of Patrick’s nurses.
We have to say thank you.
And DAISY was born.
A Seed is Planted
DAISY (diseases attacking the immune system) is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization that was created as a recognition program to honor excellence in compassionate nursing. Anyone can nominate a nurse at any time of the year, not just during National Nurses Week. The DAISY Award for Extraordinary Nurses was first awarded at the Seattle Cancer Center Alliance, where Patrick had spent the last weeks of his life.
At this beginning stage, Bonnie said she had hoped they’d get to honor nurses in at least 10 hospitals around the country. Today, 4,300 medical facilities are committed to celebrating compassionate nurses through this program!
When I asked Bonnie if she pictured this growth and success they are seeing today, her response was, “Not in a million years!” She credits DAISY’s success to nurse executives, leaders, and educators who caught the vision and partnered with them.
Bonnie is graciously playing small here. I KNOW the grit and tenacity it must have taken to keep making those calls and keep believing in this cause. Especially when what you’re striving for is not the reward of financial freedom or personal gain. The work is purely and beautifully to recognize other human beings.
DAISY Takes Root and Grows
Bonnie and Mark realized they needed help in 2007. Up until that point, the program was growing by word of mouth. They gave the program and all its tools to hospitals at no cost.
That’s when they approached the American Organization for Nursing Leadership for help. CEO Pam Thompson really saw the value in the program, and they really bought into it. She encouraged them to put a small price tag on the program so it wouldn’t be a financial hardship on anyone.
Today, DAISY stands on its own financial feet and employs 23 people on staff!
The DAISY Story is Recorded
So what do you do after you build a thriving organization that recognizes hundreds of nurses across the county? You write a book about it!
As the 20th anniversary of DAISY approached, Bonnie and Mark wanted to capture and record the many stories of compassion and hope collected by way of 1.6 million recommendations received to date! The reasons for the book were:
- To be sure the stories would not be forgotten
- To share the really compelling story of how nurses built this program
If you listen to the full episode, you’ll hear some of the details that Bonnie shares about the process, and why she’s happy they decided to do a “publishing partnership.”
DAISY is Blooming!
Today, DAISY programs are in place in all 50 states and is growing internationally. It has been adopted by health systems in England, Ireland, the Middle East, Asia, and Africa.
In addition to the DAISY Award for Extraordinary Nurses, DAISY has a robust grant program to support nurses who are doing research in cancer and autoimmune diseases. They also have a medical missions grant to help with costs incurred by nurses on medical missions trips.
They continue to build evidence of the impact that recognition is having on nurses and medical organizations as a whole. It is offsetting compassion fatigue and burn out, along with elevating compassion satisfaction. They are beginning to compile data on the effect it has on the healing process for patients and families.
The Heart of DAISY
What’s so remarkable to me is that in the face of tragedy and grief, Bonnie and her family turned to positivity. Instead of wallowing in pain, they searched for meaning. I think this is very unique and amazing. I asked Bonnie how was that even possible for them to do?
“Because that’s who Patrick was. He inspires us every day. He lived every day fully. Every day was a joy. It’s Patrick who continues to touch us every minute of every day.”
I do believe that every tragedy and loss has a bigger reason. Not that we wish any tragedy would happen. Not that we don’t wish Patrick was still here. But through this terrible loss, an incredible and beautiful program was born.
I encourage you to read Shining the Light on All the Right. It’s such a moving story, and all proceeds go to the DAISY Foundation, of course.
