Our most recent podcast featuring Shannon’s husband Nathan is the perfect combination of bringing awareness to us all as well as proposed solutions or ideas regarding a disease that affects almost everyone: victimidous disease.
Vicitmidous as Nathan calls it, or a victim mindset, is one of the most underrated psychological terms and personality traits in which a person tends to recognize themselves as a victim of the actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances.
Becoming a victim is a culmination of three factors; experience, personality and coping mechanisms (or as Nathan describes it- what you choose).
During this podcast we highlight the signs for someone who might be a victim. These signs include the effected person acting defensive in all conversations, consistently blaming other people for their actions which led to his/her bad experience, being pessimistic at most times and looking for a reason to be targeted. Another very common sign amongst the victims are that they live in the past, particularly sticking to the bad memories and use these past experiences to determine their future endeavors in a negative way.
Victims seek attention and gain sympathy by constantly nagging and blaming their situations rather than owning their decisions, experiences and choices.
Changing the mindset of a person from victim to victor includes firstly, for that person to start loving him or herself. “No one will love you unless you start loving yourself”- and victims tend to not feel loved, harder to receive love and thus harder to project it out. Secondly, another useful method is to explore the person’s own broken belief, in simple terms, this means to explore what it is you believe is wrong and then find out where that comes from and how it can be reprogrammed. Another tool is to practice being present; stop living in the past constantly exploring all the wrongs experienced and instead focus on the gift of this moment. Finding your grateful heart is a game changer of going from the powerless place of victim to the powerful space of victor. There is always something to be grateful for. Lastly, give. Give of your time and energy to something that feels right and good for you to experience a huge shift in your life.
In this episode, outside relationships are also explored. How to identify if you are in a relationship with a victim and what are some ways to approach it.
Victimization is a silent dysfunction which may not reveal itself until looked upon carefully. It is a disease, as Nathan puts it, that can metaphorically kill one; kill their spirit, connections and joy.
